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By Mary Lauren Eubank
According to the website www.salary.com, the typical stay at home mom works 40 hours at base pay and 52 hours overtime for a total of 92 hours a week. The website states the job has an earned salary equivalent to $138,095 per year. The stay-at-home mom is the CEO of the household so here are a few tips to keep the business running smoothly.
1. Agenda: Follow a schedule. Your children will find comfort in a routine and you will avoid added stress by knowing what time you need to be ready to walk out the door.
2. Office Hours: Designate a certain time of day to get errands run, emails answered and the house picked up. While you’re at it, make sure a portion of that time is your undivided attention to your family. It’s amazing what 15 minutes of quality time can do even when you think you are too busy to sit down and play.
3. Delegate: No one can do everything by themselves, at least not well. Get the entire family involved to help the household run. Husbands are willing to help but usually need clear instructions on what and how to do it. Chores are win-win tools that will take a task off your plate while teaching children responsibility.
4. Evaluate/Conference: Periodically evaluate how you and your family are doing during the work week. What is working and what needs to change? Brainstorming with your family will give you more ideas on how to make things smoother around the house. And ask your friends what works for them rather than always reinventing the wheel.
5. Vacation Days: Just like in a “real” job, you earn vacation days during the year. Even if it isn’t possible to leave town, get a babysitter and do something for yourself. The entire family will benefit from you being able to relax and recharge.
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How is autism defined?
“Autism is a language disorder first and foremost – a disorder in the way that language develops and functions; it is a combination of delayed language and language that is disordered in its developmental patterns,” says David O. Childers, Jr., M.D., Chief, Division of Developmental Pediatrics, U.F. College of Medicine, Jacksonville. “There is something wrong with the way that language is organized and the way language progresses.” The child may say words for a while but they might regress; the words never fully locked for the child.
“The three primary diagnoses in the autism spectrum include autism, pervasive developmental disorder (PDD-NOS) and Asperger’s syndrome,” Dr. Childers explains. “The autism spectrum is called that because it includes a range of complex neurodevelopmental disorders characterized by social and communication difficulties,” adds Jodi Morgan, Clinical Research Liaison and Speech-Language Pathologist with Brooks Rehabilitation. “The spectrum goes from very mild symptoms to very severe symptoms – it is a big umbrella – but many people in the community think of autism in the terms of the most severe,” she adds.
“Males are five times more likely than females to have an autism diagnosis. Researchers are starting to link this to genetics and finding a chromosomal link that is more prevalent in males than females,” says Morgan. She adds that there is a lot of inconsistent literature on the theory that normal baby vaccinations are linked to autism.
“Parents need to be aware of the early normal developmental milestones and note if their child is not babbling or talking on time. It is important to notice if the child starts talking and then stops. Pay attention to a loss of language or social skills as well as repetitive behaviors,” explains Morgan. A hallmark of autism includes a failure to recognize family members as family members and a failure to share frames of reference with other people.
What to do?
If you think that your child has autistic symptoms, Morgan suggests calling your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a specialist.
At Dr. Childers’ pediatric clinic every child who comes through with developmental concerns by the parent is examined by specialists using the adaptive behavior scale. Interestingly, their data is mirroring the national data. “Eighty percent of the children who come in for an autistic screening are not autistic,” says Dr. Childers. “It doesn’t mean that there aren’t issues. There are a lot of things that could be wrong, that are not typical, but it is not autism.”
Visual, spatial and language skills are measured during the evaluation. “We look at receptive language both as rote language and functional language,” says Dr. Childers. “Rote language is language that can be taught: body parts, commands, etc. Functional language can’t be taught, it is when we say to the child ‘put a block on your head,’ or a two step unrelated command set like ‘go and find your shoes and put your cup on the table.’” Functional understanding of language means that the child has comprehension ability.
“Get children in early for therapy – the earlier the better,” says Morgan. “Even if you can’t yet help the child, you can counsel and train the family. And be persistent. You are your child’s best advocate.”
For children younger than three years old, the Early Steps program (Early Intervention) provides a no cost eligibility assessment for children within 45 days of contact. Contact (904) 360-7022. For children ages three to five years, the Child Find program (Crown FDLRS) provides a no-cost eligibility assessment for school-based services. Contact (904) 348-7784. Click here for more info.
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By VIrginia J. Pillsbury
My mother has always provided me with a world of comfort. Even now with Alzheimer’s and limited memory, just sitting with her and holding her hand provides a love that I can get from no other.
One of the best gifts my mother gave me was just that fact that she listened to me. She always had a great capacity for listening to whatever I wanted to tell her as she did for each of her five children, her grandchildren and great grandchildren. She listened with love and, when needed, offered her wisdom.
While my mother passed on to me a lot of great life survival skills, I think the best thing she passed on to me was the gift of listening.
There is no one else I would rather talk to or listen to than one of my children. Their thoughts, dreams, questions, rants, raves and details of their lives are vitally important to me. I am so thankful that they share themselves with me.
My daughter Leslie recently sent me the following quote:
“Listen earnestly to anything that your children want to tell you, no matter what. If you don’t listen eagerly to the little stuff when they are little, they won’t tell you the big stuff when they are big, because to them all of it has always been big stuff.”
Happy Mother’s Day to my mother; thank you for being such a loving and listening role model to so many of us.
Is there a child waiting to tell you something?
