Posts in: Family
Posted in: Family // 1 Comment
By Virginia Pillsbury
We have known Shane for several months and when we learned that at age 18 he would leave his “group home” and be placed in an apartment, we offered him another option.
So today is the first day in a new school for our newest family member. On Sunday Shane turned 18 and while in the eyes of the world he is considered an adult, he is also a high school kid who needs a home. Three years ago our youngest daughter left for college, and two weeks ago our 23-year-old left for Uganda, so Shane is actually doing us a favor by filling our home again.
We consider him our sixth child, and, yes, he has his real family and of course we respect that relationship. But we also can’t have someone live with us without bonding with him as family. We may not have legally adopted Shane, but in our hearts we have.
I am as giddy as a new mom in some ways – wondering if I will be a good mom to my new child. I am so excited to see him continue to grow his wings and become a happy and successful adult, and I am thankful that God has given us another opportunity to be parents.
Welcome Shane!
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By Virginia Pillsbury
Here we go. The saying – that the two most important things we can give our children are roots and wings – is tapping me on the shoulder as we get ready to say good bye to Allison again.
Eighteen months ago she moved back home and got a second helping of her roots. Taking time between college and graduate school, she lived at home while working as a medical social worker. She refers to me and my husband as her “roommates.” And while at first it was very hard to fit back into a family routine after living away for several years, she managed to do so mostly gracefully.
The months at home have actually been fairly momentous: an old romance was rekindled into a beautiful new relationship, she trained and ran in last year’s Donna half marathon, she was there to say goodbye to the beloved family pup and cat, she welcomed a new nephew as well as bonded with his older brother, she traveled to Europe, hung out with friends, had some great meals and talks with her “roommates” as she continued to grow in wisdom and grace.
On Saturday, Allison takes off to spend two months in Uganda where she will work with children in an orphanage. Why Uganda? The plight of children soldiers touched her heart in college (see: www.invisiblechildren.com) and she believes that God is providing this amazing opportunity. Yes, she knows that there are needs here but she also knows that her heart is calling her to go there.
When she returns, she will most likely be heading off to graduate school; the exact location should present itself in the form of an acceptance letter while she is away.
So this really is the end of the road for her current roommate situation. While I’ll miss her more than words can say, I know that her wings are more than ready for flight.
But rather than be sad about her departure – after all we raised her with the roots that allow her wings to take her far away, I rejoice in the gift of 18 months with this beautiful grown up daughter and dear friend.
Posted in: Family // 5 Comments
By Virginia Pillsbury
I was about seven years old when my mother’s new upholstered rocking chair was delivered to our house. It rocked, it swiveled and who knew that it would become such a source of comfort over the years.
I remember having that “all is right with the world” feeling when I would come in the door from school and find my mother sitting and reading in her chair. She rocked me, my children and countless other babies in that chair. She laughed, cried and napped there; I believe that it was a haven for her.
It is also where she sat and prayed. I am sure many early mornings and late nights she sat in that chair and read her Bible and prayed for those she loved.
For now that chair resides in my house and it is where I start my mornings with quiet time to pray and get ready. I love that this routine is a link to my mother who now sits in a different chair in her room at the Allegro.
I am reading Mothering Mother by Carol O’Dell. It is a wonderful account of her time tending to her mother with Alzheimer’s. I laugh and I cry as I read it because while Carol describes her mother’s Alzheimer’s journey, I recognize that it is a universal journey. Some of the things she writes could just as easily be about my mother. If you are parenting your parent whether they live with you, in your town or many miles away, I recommend this book to you. I also suggest finding others who are going through the same thing – I have such a friend and when we meet and talk and laugh about our experiences, it brightens my day and my outlook.
This month my mother celebrates seven years at the Allegro. Though her mind continues to fog, she holds onto her sense of humor and even though some days are very hard (she would rather eat candy and ice cream than meat and vegetables; she’s 93, who can blame her?), I know that she is doing her best and I love that about her.
I know that the time will come all too soon when I won’t be able to hold her hand and tell her that she is the best mother in the world. I remain grateful for each day that I have with her.
