My Fight with Breast Cancer-Ashley Harris

Ashley Harris

“I can never ever be the same as I was before I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. I never want to be.”

Ashley Harris is a critical care nurse, wife and mom. At age 26, she is also a breast cancer survivor. She has no family history of breast cancer; her doctor told her that her self exams saved her life.

“I found the lump by being a good girl and doing my monthly self exams,” says Harris. From the ultrasound results, her doctor didn’t think it was anything but chose to be overly precautious and ordered both a mammogram and a biopsy. “Two days later my doctor called and told me that it was breast cancer and that I had saved my own life,” she says. Her son Barron was 18-months-old at the time.

Harris and her husband, JB, did research and chose to have her surgery and treatment at MD Anderson in Orlando. “I had bilateral mastectomies followed by six months of chemotherapy, six weeks of radiation, and I am still taking Herceptin,” says Harris. The decision to remove both breasts was easy. “Take them off; get them away from me, because I don’t want to stress about them for the rest of my life,” was her response. The worst for her was the radiation. “Imagine the worst burn of your life and put it in your arm pit,” she says.

She described the first days after diagnosis as scary and overwhelming. “I was 25 and had my mortality held up in front of me,” she says. After receiving a timely email, Harris made the choice to look at the bright side of her situation, be positive and keep a sense of humor.

During her surgery and treatment Harris says that she received an amazing amount of help from family that both she and her husband have in town. She also received emotional support from co-workers at Baptist Beaches South where she works. They provided meals, sent cards and even made her a special quilt. “I never expected anything yet they were like a second family for me,” says Harris. She calls them her support group since there was no one her age at the support groups she attended. “Support groups were hard for me – I was 25 and had a hard time relating to women in their thirties, forties, and fifties,” she says.

Chemo wasn’t fun with a one year old, and her doctors put her into menopause to protect her ovaries for possible future pregnancies. So she had hot flashes and mood swings to add to the mix. Harris was delighted to have her mother-in-law spend five days a week with them taking care of Barron. “All I wanted to do was sleep and drink milkshakes,” Harris remembers. “I couldn’t have done this as a single parent with no family.”

She also says that the thought of losing her hair was more daunting than the actual act. She wore a wig once and then went bareheaded. “I didn’t want to even wear a scarf because it made me feel like a cancer patient,” she says. Her prosthesis is a different matter; wearing that has been hard. “I can’t wear spaghetti strap tops and halters – and I no longer have cleavage,” says Harris. “I had to reevaluate the way I dressed and I wasn’t prepared for that.” Her reconstruction surgery is planned for this fall; her stomach fat will provide the breast tissue. “I get a boob job and a tummy tuck all at once,” she jokes.

Harris and JB were talking about having another baby at the time of her diagnosis. Her doctor has given her a five year window before she can get pregnant and that gives them time to reevaluate their plans. “My cancer was hormone sensitive. I know how crazy my hormones get when I’m pregnant and I’m not sure that it’s worth the risk to me and my family. I want to be here to see Barron graduate from college,” she says.

That determination can be a role model for all. Harris recently reflected on her cancer journey in an email to family and friends:

“Cancer has affected my life in more ways that I could ever have imagined. It changed my hair-do, my energy level, my appreciation of friends and family, my view of my own mortality, my plans for the future and my body-image just to name a few. The exciting thing is that I’m happy about it all. I can never ever be the same as I was before I was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. I never want to be. I am, down to the core of my soul, happy with the way my life is right now, the ups and downs, the frustrations and joys. For the first time in nearly a year, since June 20, 2008, the day my world was tossed in a blender, I am content with every aspect of my life. I almost forgot what it felt like.”